成功的家庭财务调解

文/卡罗琳·J. 伍德拉夫，法学博士，注册会计师，注册会计师

在北卡罗来纳州, divorce cases may have two kinds of mediation – 1) family financial mediation 和 2) child custody mediation. This blog deals exclusively with the strategy for North Carolina family financial mediation. Other references at the end will direct you to other materials on child custody mediation 和 family financial mediation. This blog discusses strategic 成功 at family financial mediation.

家庭财务调解. 复习一下, the District Court orders family financial mediation in cases where equitable distribution (property division), 孩子的抚养费, 和 spousal support (alimony) are pending before the court. In other words, you must go, 和 there is no choice. 你的律师陪同你. (You can also do a voluntary mediation.) For the basics, see my video on YouTube named Family Law Mediation 101. The link will be in the references section below. 调解是一种协商. The mediator does not decide the case (that is arbitration).

Success is defined as achieving your goal or aim. I created an acronym for strategic success in family financial mediation. 下面是:

S是构建一个计划. Structure means give a design to your plan. I advise that you write down the top three goals of your mediation in order of priority. If keeping the house or business is first, 其次是养老金, 和 the taxidermied boar’s head you killed on your honeymoon is third, then write these down in order of priority. In a negotiation, you need to know what is most important to you.

代表你的理解. Underst和 the rules of mediation 和 the role of the mediator. 规则相对简单. 如果调解是法院命令的, you must participate until the mediation calls an impasse or until a settlement is reached. You can make confidential statements to the mediator, but you must designate the information as confidential. Otherwise, the mediator may use the comments to create a settlement. You have to pay half of the mediator’s fee. Mediators may seem to be on the other side as the devil’s advocate, but the mediator is doing this in both rooms. The mediator wins if he gets a settlement.

C is for consulting with your attorney ahead of time. Set at least one meeting with your attorney for preparation. I like to have a financial client set one appointment with a paralegal to get the basic spreadsheets for mediation ready 和 then schedule a second appointment with me to determine strategy, 第一次报价, 和 reasonable objectives for the mediation. 有时, we determine the last offer 和 the strategy between getting from the 第一次报价 to the last offer.

C is for culling the negative thoughts out of your brain. Make an affirmative decision to believe that you will be okay 和 that the mediation will work. 是积极的.

E是吃和喝水. 调解可能持续一整天. That is too long to go without eating 和 water. 你的血糖可能会降低. Food 和 water will be offered during the mediation. You can probably get sodas, coffee, 和 hot tea. 带上你喜欢的零食. 参加,请. I have had too many clients say “I cannot eat” during a mediation, 和 at the end of the day – they were not as bright-eyed as at the beginning.

S is for sealing the deal or sleeping on it. If you reach a reasonable settlement that meets your top reasonable objective 和 as many more points as possible, 你将有机会签约. Discuss whether you should sign with your attorney. If you have reasonable doubts, then sleep on it. Remember, the other side will likely sleep on it too, 和 you can lose your progress toward settling. However, it is best to wait if you feel there will be 买方的悔恨.

S是停到另一天. No one wants their mediation to be more than one day, but it happens. 更大的金融案例, the more likely the mediation may take two or even three days to discuss 和 mediate all issues.

相信成功是你的. Success is not guaranteed as it takes two to tango, but your preparation 和 attitude will control what you can control. You cannot control your ex, which you know.

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祝你好运，下次见，卡罗琳

参考文献

家庭法调解101 YouTube视频